Day 4: Scotland-Whiskey and Hairy Coos
Today's tour was definitely recently redone to cash in on the Outlander craze, but you won't see me complaining! Bring it all on! So Outlander mostly takes place in 1745-ish Scotland. If you strip away the time travel and the romance, you have a historical fiction novel that takes place during the lead up to (and aftermath of) one of Scotland's biggest battles: The Battle of Culloden.
Our first stop was the battle site of Culloden, where in 1746 the conflict between the Jacobites and the British came to a head. Let's just say that the Jacobites (mostly Scottish soldiers) were very poorly prepared and were lead by a man-child who wanted to be King. You know what, I'm tired and am having trouble thinking of words and sentences, let's make this blog a joint effort. Jeff? What were your thoughts on our first stop at Culloden Moor and it's museum?
My understanding of the entire conflict is that some folks were mad that the Stuarts got kicked off the throne of England for being Catholic, so they decided to shoot at the Protestants in the hopes that they'd eventually stop fighting and England would allow the rightful Catholic King back on the throne. This did not go as planned, because (much like World War II did for Germany) everything that could go wrong did go wrong.
They tried to get help from France, but France was too busy with their own revolution and open warfare on another front. Then, they asked Rome. Rome said no, because no. They asked a bunch of folks and eventually got a little help from Spain and a little financial help from France. In the end, the boats full of supplies bound for the Scots sank into the sea. Without these much needed weapons and cash, the Jacobites took the field. It was a massacre. 3 Scots died for every 1 English soldier. This battle was the last organized battle between two countries to take place on British soil (for some reason, they don't count the insurrection in Northern Ireland as a battle, but that's their business). Bonnie Prince Charlie ended up fleeing to Skye, where he was eventually smuggled back to Rome by being dressed as a woman. He died as he lived; a gross weirdo with delusions of grandeur and also syphilis.
Next up, a cairn! It's like a henge, but less orderly and more full of piles of rocks. The cairns at Clava were probably a burial site and probably a religious site for bronze age (or earlier) inhabitants of Britain. They may be related to the Picts or the Brythonic peoples, but it could just as likely have been some otherwise unknown group. The place if nearly 4000 years old, and was used as a religious site by at least two other non-contemporary groups as recently as the mid 500s. We took lots of pictures, I made fun of the Fair Folk, it was a good time.
After we visited Pictish Patrick's Discount Burial Plaza, we headed further inland to the Highland Folk Museum. It was more of a... passive reenactment village? Like Sauder Village, but without the performers. Well, there were a few performers, but most of the buildings were unstaffed. There were buildings from the 1100s through WWII at the western end of the museum, as well as a Highland Village (do not, under any circumstances, call it the Outlander Village [despite the fact that a couple of episodes of Outlander used this village as a filming location] or they will become very cross with you) that looked to be transported out of the late 1500s. They had everything: thatched roof cottages, peasants, and possibly a wingaling dragon. Angie and I took a lot of photos of this place, so we were running a bit late and had to eat lunch on the bus instead of in the little cafe on site. (Angie's sidenote: I had a blast following around the Outlander super-fans who were debating the exact tree Claire walked past, and which cottage she had to go into, and what corner she was forced into, and then proceed to reenact the scenes to prove their point.)
Continuing the stereotypes, we hit up a whisky distillery. Dalwhinnie is an old, but not the oldest, distillery. It is, however, the highest in altitude in the whole of Britain. I've been on several of these tours over the years, so I'll hand this back to Angie so she can wrap this up.
Well, I had never been on a distillery tour before so.... I think I can sum it up quite easily. They do the science with physics and use it to turn barley, yeast and water into whiskey. There's also honey involved. And I was supposed to be able to smell hints of fruit and nuts but it all just smelled like alcohol. At least the huge-ass tanks of fermenting mash didn't smell like the stanky sour mash you smell from our beer or Seagram's distillery. Wait, how was it a good idea to have me talk about this tour? I think all alcohol tastes bad, especially whiskey. Why do I want to drink something that tastes like literal cleaning agents on fire? They had really good chocolates there though. Like REALLY good. They won awards and even made chocolates for Prince Harry's wedding! We tried cinnamon, orange, chai, and chocolate truffle. The cinnamon and truffle were freaking AMAZING. They totally deserve those awards and that price tag on their tiny, two-bite size of their chocolates.
And to wrap it all up, the tour had to take us to a place so we could see their namesake: Hairy Coos!!!! Highland cattle are cute and shaggy and there's this place that is a farm and a shop and a restaurant (I guess their main draw is they also sell and cook with farm-fresh ingredients. And around back of the place you can go and see Hairy Coos. Well, one coo. And she was happy to stay sitting, until she had to pee, and then she did her business and went back to sitting down. But, eh, that's animal photography for you. You can't get them to do what you want, ESPECIALLY when you don't have food.
Sean drove us all back to Edinburgh, where he played for us, and we all sang along, to "Scotland's unofficial national anthem": I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles) by the Proclaimers. He really is an awesome dude and it really was a great tour. I'm sold on going on tours in the future in countries where I don't want to drive (minus Japan, I like being the tour guide there)!
We got to our guesthouse, fortified ourselves with sushi from a very rambunctious, UK version of kaiten sushi, picked up dessert from a convenience store, and now we're in bed and looking forward to sleeping in a bit tomorrow.
So until then, goodnight!
Inverness. I swear Claire walks over that bridge in the show...
Our first stop was the battle site of Culloden, where in 1746 the conflict between the Jacobites and the British came to a head. Let's just say that the Jacobites (mostly Scottish soldiers) were very poorly prepared and were lead by a man-child who wanted to be King. You know what, I'm tired and am having trouble thinking of words and sentences, let's make this blog a joint effort. Jeff? What were your thoughts on our first stop at Culloden Moor and it's museum?
This field is only 1/5 of the battlefield's size.
My understanding of the entire conflict is that some folks were mad that the Stuarts got kicked off the throne of England for being Catholic, so they decided to shoot at the Protestants in the hopes that they'd eventually stop fighting and England would allow the rightful Catholic King back on the throne. This did not go as planned, because (much like World War II did for Germany) everything that could go wrong did go wrong.
Did Jamie hide in that shed? Sure, let's say he did.
They tried to get help from France, but France was too busy with their own revolution and open warfare on another front. Then, they asked Rome. Rome said no, because no. They asked a bunch of folks and eventually got a little help from Spain and a little financial help from France. In the end, the boats full of supplies bound for the Scots sank into the sea. Without these much needed weapons and cash, the Jacobites took the field. It was a massacre. 3 Scots died for every 1 English soldier. This battle was the last organized battle between two countries to take place on British soil (for some reason, they don't count the insurrection in Northern Ireland as a battle, but that's their business). Bonnie Prince Charlie ended up fleeing to Skye, where he was eventually smuggled back to Rome by being dressed as a woman. He died as he lived; a gross weirdo with delusions of grandeur and also syphilis.
Next up, a cairn! It's like a henge, but less orderly and more full of piles of rocks. The cairns at Clava were probably a burial site and probably a religious site for bronze age (or earlier) inhabitants of Britain. They may be related to the Picts or the Brythonic peoples, but it could just as likely have been some otherwise unknown group. The place if nearly 4000 years old, and was used as a religious site by at least two other non-contemporary groups as recently as the mid 500s. We took lots of pictures, I made fun of the Fair Folk, it was a good time.
Was I able to be transported to a handsome highlander in the past? No, but at least I tried.
After we visited Pictish Patrick's Discount Burial Plaza, we headed further inland to the Highland Folk Museum. It was more of a... passive reenactment village? Like Sauder Village, but without the performers. Well, there were a few performers, but most of the buildings were unstaffed. There were buildings from the 1100s through WWII at the western end of the museum, as well as a Highland Village (do not, under any circumstances, call it the Outlander Village [despite the fact that a couple of episodes of Outlander used this village as a filming location] or they will become very cross with you) that looked to be transported out of the late 1500s. They had everything: thatched roof cottages, peasants, and possibly a wingaling dragon. Angie and I took a lot of photos of this place, so we were running a bit late and had to eat lunch on the bus instead of in the little cafe on site. (Angie's sidenote: I had a blast following around the Outlander super-fans who were debating the exact tree Claire walked past, and which cottage she had to go into, and what corner she was forced into, and then proceed to reenact the scenes to prove their point.)
So apparently Claire was made to pee in a bucket in this corner of this cottage? Yeah, sorry superfans, I only watched that episode once a year or two ago, I'll take your word on it!
Continuing the stereotypes, we hit up a whisky distillery. Dalwhinnie is an old, but not the oldest, distillery. It is, however, the highest in altitude in the whole of Britain. I've been on several of these tours over the years, so I'll hand this back to Angie so she can wrap this up.
Well, I had never been on a distillery tour before so.... I think I can sum it up quite easily. They do the science with physics and use it to turn barley, yeast and water into whiskey. There's also honey involved. And I was supposed to be able to smell hints of fruit and nuts but it all just smelled like alcohol. At least the huge-ass tanks of fermenting mash didn't smell like the stanky sour mash you smell from our beer or Seagram's distillery. Wait, how was it a good idea to have me talk about this tour? I think all alcohol tastes bad, especially whiskey. Why do I want to drink something that tastes like literal cleaning agents on fire? They had really good chocolates there though. Like REALLY good. They won awards and even made chocolates for Prince Harry's wedding! We tried cinnamon, orange, chai, and chocolate truffle. The cinnamon and truffle were freaking AMAZING. They totally deserve those awards and that price tag on their tiny, two-bite size of their chocolates.
And to wrap it all up, the tour had to take us to a place so we could see their namesake: Hairy Coos!!!! Highland cattle are cute and shaggy and there's this place that is a farm and a shop and a restaurant (I guess their main draw is they also sell and cook with farm-fresh ingredients. And around back of the place you can go and see Hairy Coos. Well, one coo. And she was happy to stay sitting, until she had to pee, and then she did her business and went back to sitting down. But, eh, that's animal photography for you. You can't get them to do what you want, ESPECIALLY when you don't have food.
Sean drove us all back to Edinburgh, where he played for us, and we all sang along, to "Scotland's unofficial national anthem": I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles) by the Proclaimers. He really is an awesome dude and it really was a great tour. I'm sold on going on tours in the future in countries where I don't want to drive (minus Japan, I like being the tour guide there)!
We got to our guesthouse, fortified ourselves with sushi from a very rambunctious, UK version of kaiten sushi, picked up dessert from a convenience store, and now we're in bed and looking forward to sleeping in a bit tomorrow.
So until then, goodnight!
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